Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
