just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
