i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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