I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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