Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just want nice things and good sex
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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