Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
