Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
id be glad to
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
