...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
