it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
