like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize