i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
