There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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