sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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