On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
