we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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