Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize