So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
