i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she smelled like a LAN party
and i looked up. we had an audience...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize