This is not my ceiling
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
