I must be too annoying 4 u.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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