I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
