ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
