How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
