There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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