I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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