I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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