i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
