Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
