: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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