I met the friendliest cop last night
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We're too hungover to prance.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
