Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
