How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize