i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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