I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
