I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize