she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i love accidental penises.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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