remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
is wine microwaveable?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
