You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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