Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
