i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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