The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
