now i know why i became what i already was.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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