I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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