If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
