i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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