Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
