as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
