she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
