ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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