We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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