I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
