dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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