Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
porn star boner night. come get it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
