Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
