Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize