hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
