it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
