you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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