The best revenge is premature balding
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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